10 Ways to Scar Conner
by SamxXxBluePulser
Summary: Conner Kent is new to this whole teenager thing, and he isn't exactly sure how to deal with it. Unfortunately for him, a speedster and a little bird have decided to 'help' him learn. Slight BirdFlash. Rated T for language and humor. Way 3: Time of the Month
1. BatFlash

**So this is the first chapter of a ten-shot, I guess. Poor Conner…**

**Sorry if characters are a little OOC. I wanted this to be funny!**

**Give me ideas on other ways to scar Conner? ;D**

"So where is he again?" Wally asked, a smirk on his face. He tilted the mirror and winked at his best friend in the back.

Dick cackled and said, "A hotel not far from here."

"I'm still confused…" Conner said slowly, blue eyes turning from his shotgun spot to him in the back.

"Well Supes, apparently, Flash managed to drag Bats to go clubbing and they both got crazy drunk. And he called me an hour ago from a hotel to say…" at this point, Dick was laughing so hard he made retarded seal sounds. Wally smacked the back of his head, but the Boy Wonder was still giggling.

"To say…?" Conner pressed on.

"To say he woke up, naked, in a bed with Flash!"

"Does that mean…" Conner's eyebrows furrowed with the effort to grasp the concept.

"Yup. Bats and Flash had some sexy-time!" Dick laughed wickedly.

"I'm still scarred…" Wally muttered, pressing his foot to the pedal and increasing the speed to 90 miles per hour. He drove the sports car like a maniac, almost swerving into the opposite lane and hitting a mini-van. He laughed and hit a blue button, and the car shuddered violently.

"AH!" Conner yelled, looking down and trying to strap on his seatbelt, but it was too late.

He was flung into the back, on top of Dick, who was cackling wildly. The top of the car retracted, and the seat which Conner had just been sitting on was ejected upwards and was quickly torn away by the wind.

"Off my bird!" Wally called from the front seat. Conner attempted to get off Dick, but the jerky motions of the car made it very difficult.

The car suddenly swerved to the left, and the super teen went flying into a window, crackling the glass. The speedster grinned in approval and slammed his foot on the pedal. Conner could feel his breakfast start to rise in his stomach. The tires squealed as they sped around a corner, Dick yelling, "Faster, KF! Faster!"

"No! Slow down!" Conner yelped, finally sitting properly in his seat. The Boy Wonder smirked at him, waving around a batarang,

"Put that away before—"

BOOM!

"Dammit Rob!" Wally snapped, turning sharply and coming to a screeching halt.

Conner ripped off the door in the hurry to get out and flung it to the side, jumping out and immediately emptying his stomach to the side. Dick nimbly got out, smiling sweetly at Wally, who also climbed out easily.

"What's the matter, Supes?" Wally grinned wickedly, green eyes glinting.

Conner just groaned and wiped his mouth, making a mental note to never ride with the two again. Half the car was on fire, and two doors had been severed completely from the main body. The super teen just stared at it, then turned to a cackling Dick and a smug Wally.

"Well Supes? Let's go!" the speedster scooped up Dick and began to run along the road. Conner super-jumped after them, his head still spinning from the crazy ride he had been forced through.

When they finally got in front of the hotel, Dick had resumed his cackling again. It was a pretty swanky place, and when they entered, their attention was immediately drawn to the huge glass chandelier hanging from the center of the high ceiling.

"Hello, what room is Bruce Wayne checked in?" Dick asked at the front desk, tapping his fingers on the counter and smiling innocently at the girl, who blinked a few times at the confident ebony before flipping through a book of signatures.

"Uh…Room 435," she told him, and he winked at her, already striding in the direction of the elevator. Wally followed him, a wide grin on his face as he wrapped an arm around his best friend, chuckling.

"You coming, Supes?" Dick smirked, and Conner decided he wasn't going to get into an elevator with the crazy pair. Instead, he shook his head and headed towards the stairs.

He took them 3 at a time, wanting to reach the top before the two, and jumped onto the platform just as the elevator doors slid open. He gave a silent sigh of relief as he observed that they hadn't managed to jam all the buttons. Dick walked out, Wally holding his cape aloft, a wide grin on his face.

"Can we just go…" Conner muttered, trying to remember what room it was.

"Yup! This way, to BatFlash!" Dick giggled like a manic and led the way, taking lengthy strides like he was strutting down the catwalk. Wally, smirking, looked over at Conner's priceless expression and laughed loudly. The super teen flushed red and glared at the speedster, who covered his mouth with a hand and tried to look serious.

The trio finally stopped in front of a door that looked like beer bottles and batarangs had been thrown at it. Dick sweatdropped, mumbling something about speedsters and overreacting before pulling out a knife and breaking the lock with one deft slash.

"And here I thought you were good with computers," Wally mused, messing up the ebony's hair. He swatted at the ginger, a smirk forming on his face as he slowly opened the door.

"_Don't come in_!" a rough voice hissed, and suddenly someone was pushing hard on the opposite side of the door. Dick's smirk turned gleefully evil as he answered innocently, "Aw, Bats! Open up!"

There was a fraction of a second pause before the door cracked open. Bruce Wayne stuck his head out, eyes fierce when he noticed Conner and Wally. He opened his mouth, and was probably going to banish the two to the underworld or something if it wasn't for Flash.

"Mm…hey Brucey, you coming back into bed for a seventh round?" Flash called hoarsely from the room, and Conner's face flamed bright red. Batman's face also colored, but he answered tightly, "No, honey. Maybe later."

Wally had to smirk at that, and Batman gave him a famous Bat-glare. The ginger gulped and turned pale, hiding behind the still red super teen.

"Uh, so, Bats? What's the problem here?" Dick finally asked, looking puzzled, his mouth pulled into a pout.

"I need to get out of here undetected….but every time I try and get out of the room…stand back." The Dark Knight grimaced and instructed.

Conner Dick, and Wally all backed up a few feet, and Batman suddenly shoved the door open and ran out—Wally noted the lightning boxers and red shirt he was wearing with a groan—heading towards the elevator. But like a speeding bullet, a flash of black caught him and threw him over one shoulder. For a second, the 3 young heroes could see a sleepily annoyed Barry Allen carrying the feared Batman—who was blushing darkly—over one shoulder, before they disappeared into the hotel room again.

"You see?" came the muffled yell of Batman.

"Oh no…no way! Barry! Stop!" he groaned and went silent. Conner's eyes were wide in horror; he took a few steps back as Dick cracked up. Wally slung an arm around his best friend and grinned as well.

"Since they're making BatFlash babies…I think we can at least have a BirdFlash make out session?" Wally looked at Dick with a puppy pout.

Dick grabbed the speedster by the front of his shirt and smashed their lips together. Suddenly, hey heard a loud shriek, and broke apart to see a very scared Conner running for the stairs at full speed. Wally and Dick looked at each other and cracked up, before kissing again.

**And that was the first installment! How was it? **

**Please review!**

**~samx**


	2. Movie Night

**Oh, Wally and Dick are so evil…;D Sorry this took so long :3 **

"So, you ready Supes?"

"Yeah, cos it's gonna be awesome!"

"I, uh…"

Conner gulped and stared into evil green eyes and evil (well, he assumed) shades before dropping his gaze, trying to bury the uneasy feeling in his chest. He nodded, and was rewarded (or punished, possibly) by whoops of joy and wide grins. He pressed his knees to his chest even closer and scooted away from Wally and Dick, who had their arms around each other.

The movie was already in the player, popcorn bowls and various candy boxes were on the table, and the blankets and pillows were spread out on the couch. Conner wondered for the tenth time that hour why he had agreed to this movie night with the two.

He didn't see all the fuss over a horror movie; maybe he should have gone with Artemis, M'gann, and Kaldur on that mission to defeat the lizard mutant after all.

Of course, by now it was too late.

"Supy! Pay attention! The Purge is starting!" Dick hissed through the darkness, and creepy music started to play. Conner stared at the screen, his hand absentmindedly grabbing a few pieces of popcorn, and jumped a little at the sudden sound on screen.

The Boy Wonder cackled lightly, and Wally snickered, but then let out a yelp as an even louder noise sounded from the movie.

Dick's cackles increased in volume, and Wally smacked the back of his head. Conner sighed and leaned back, his blue eyes searching the dark for the remote as the pair began to wrestle.

Wally rolled on top of the younger boy, who screamed and bit Wally's hand. He yelped in response and rolled off of the ebony. Dick smirked and jumped on his friend, bony elbows digging into the tan skin. Conner hit 'pause' on the remote—or so he thought—and immediately the screen blurred then refocused, the first few words coming in a different language.

Wally and Dick stopped fighting, their gazes riveted to the TV before they tackled Conner, yelling, "Bad Superboy!"

Finally settling down after a while (after Conner easily pinned down both, thanks to his strength), Dick fiddled with the buttons and switched the language back to English. The three quieted down and watched in rapt silence; the only noises were either from the screen, Wally munching on all the food, or Conner asking about every little thing he didn't understand, like why the cars were parked so badly.

When the action started, Wally began to add commentary to every scene he found fit—which was most of them.

"Don't let him in—_don't let him in_!" the speedster hissed loudly, and Dick threw a pillow at him, trying to concentrate on what was happening.

"Oh they let him in….no, no, no!" he groaned and buried his face in the ebony's shoulder, who gave a snort of disgust but smoothed down his spiky hair anyway. Conner shook his head slightly and returned his focus back to what was happening. The screen was dark, and people were talking in hushed tones. For a horror movie, this was pretty boring, Conner thought, sighing softly.

Suddenly a scream echoed around the room, and he jumped, emitting a little squeal. Wally laughed, which turned into a scream when a guy on screen jumped out of the darkness. He looked a bit embarrassed but flipped his hair (Conner knew he was going to have nightmares about the hipster speedster) at them and crossed his arms.

"He's right behind you, girl! Are you blind?!" the speedster demanded about 20 minutes later, looking annoyed. Dick rolled his eyes (well, Conner assumed that was proper reaction, as he did too) and hugged Wally from the side, who relaxed and smiled a bit.

After that, Conner was terrified. All the creepy people, with all the weapons, and all the suspense was really killing him. And not in the good way. He whimpered and pulled the blanket even tighter around him, trying to block out the horrified screams and gunshots that echoed around the room.

At the end of the movie, all the food was gone thanks to Wally, and all of the blankets and pillows were in Conner's possession, his blue eyes still huge in fright. Wally was shaking as he stared nervously around the dark room. Dick rolled his eyes and hit the lights, revealing a looming shadow entering the room—

Conner and Wally shrieked and dove behind the couch, pressing themselves as close as possible to the leather cover.

Dick groaned and said, "Hey M'gann."

"Hi Robin! Uh…what's with Superboy and Kid?"

"Just ignore them," he shook his head sadly, then smiled evilly.

He slowly, stealthily leaned over the couch edge and yelled, "Boo!"

Two screams of surprise were what he got in return. Needless to say, after that night, Kaldur noticed that Superboy and Kid Flash refused to venture into any dark part of any mission with Robin.

~x~

"Superboy!"

Conner looked up from his dinner, which consisted of cold soup and bread (M'gann didn't have time to make pasta), and locked eyes with bright green.

"Yes, Wa—Kid Flash?" the super teen corrected himself just in time. The speedster grinned at him, twisting himself on the couch into a more comfortable position, and waved him over with a twirl of his fingers.

Conner sipped the last of his soup, dumped the bowl into the sink, and walked over to him, slightly suspicious. They were confirmed when Wally jumped on him, yelling, "I got him Rob!"  
Conner easily threw him off and started to get up, but the Boy Wonder deftly twisted his arm behind him and _snap_. The super teen felt cold metal digging into his skin and growled at Dick, trying to break them, but the handcuffs were clearly made out of steel, something only Superman could break.

He gritted his teeth and glared daggers at the pair, who were laughing at the trapped teen.

"Why?" Conner demanded, lashing out with his legs.

"Since you didn't really like horror movies—" Dick started.

"—we've decided to show you a comedy!" Wally finished. Both grinned evilly, and Conner gulped.

The lights were switched off, and a bucket of popcorn dumped in his lap. The super teen grunted at the sudden weight, but bent his head and used his tongue to scoop up a few pieces. He was going to be here for a while; he might as well eat.

"What movie?" Conner finally asked, as loud music began playing.

"The Hangover!" Wally laughed wolfishly, pressing the button to increase the volume.

"What is it about?" he asked slowly, dreading the worst. Wally just shushed him and leaned forward, drinking in every note and every word.

For the next two hours, Conner could only sit and watch, his eyes wide. The speedster and the ebony were doubled over laughing, through almost every scene. When the movie ended, Conner ran for the bathroom. Wally and Dick yelled in unison, "There's a tiger in the bathroom!" and cracked up.

Needless to say, after that movie, Conner seemed to hate tigers more than monkeys, and every time a mission was set in the jungle, he would throw them both death glares.

Kaldur was very confused at this point.

**Haha! Okay, review maybe? And give me some ideas on the next chapter!**

**~samx**


	3. The Dress

**This chapter is based on ****RobinsReckoning****, whose idea it was for Wally to run off with Conner's clothes. I tweaked it a bit so something else would happen ;)**

**Enjoy~**

"Shh! Don't let him hear you!" Dick hushed up the grinning speedster next to him, who just rolled his eyes and pulled out something horrifically pink and frilly from the bag slung over his shoulder

"Go!" Dick hissed, and Wally darted from under the stall, grabbing the super teen's fresh clothes from where they were hanging, and stuffed them into the bag. Conner, oblivious, didn't notice, as he was changing. Wally waited for him to hang up his dirty clothes, and then snatched them too. He carefully hung the dress where the clothes should have been.

Job complete, the smug speedster raced to his stall and gave the bag back to Dick, who smirked as Conner yelled in outrage.

"Success! BirdFlash strikes again!" he whispered loudly, high-fiving his partner in crime.

"GAHHHHH!" Conner roared, and both heroes flinched. Without looking at each other, they both ran, knocking over Roy and Kaldur.

"What the hell?" Roy snapped, rubbing his back where he hit the edge of the wall. He rolled his eyes as Dick cackled, jumping on Wally's back. The speedster streaked away, and the archer groaned in annoyance.

M'gann and Artemis exited from an opposite door, raising eyebrows at the annoyed archer. Kaldur groaned slightly as he took the hand Roy was extending him.

"Lemme guess. The terror twins?" Artemis smirked when Roy scowled but nodded.

Conner was going to kill Dick and Wally. Like, the rip their limbs off and decapitate them kind of kill. And it wasn't irrational or anything. It made perfect sense, if you know what happened.

Conner was standing in a dirty bathroom stall, freezing his *ss off, swearing silently in his head at the 'BirdFlash' pair, as they had dubbed themselves, for stealing his clothes. Oh, they weren't that bad. They left something in return, but it wasn't his shirt and jeans.

Oh, no. it was a frilly pink dress. He was going to murder them, assassinate them, as soon as he got his hands on—

"Conner? You almost done?" Kaldur's voice floated from outside, and Conner gritted his teeth, not wanting to humiliate himself by asking for help.

So instead he forced a normal tone (even though he was screaming in his head) and called back, "Almost!"

He turned his attention back to the hopeless situation and rubbed his face, trying to think of a solution. He couldn't go out naked; he couldn't wear the dress; what about wrapping himself in toilet paper?

He counted to ten before flinging open the stall, racing out in his birthday suit, and opening up the cabinet that stored stacks of toilet paper. He grabbed a few packages, each containing four, and ran back into his stall, locking the door firmly behind him.

Conner began to wrap himself with it, making sure to layer all his…sensitive parts. After about ten minutes of hard work, 12 rolls of toilet paper, and one mishap when he almost fell into the toilet, his makeshift outfit was complete. He looked down with pure horror to find that it was slowly sticking to his body thanks to the fierce sweat he had worked up.

"Crap, crap, crap!" he hissed, banging his head against the stall door and damning Wally and Dick to hell a million times. He turned and stared at the dress, knowing what he had to do.

"Where is Conner?" Artemis huffed, black eyes narrowing in annoyance. Roy raised a shoulder then relaxed it, causing a scowl to cross the blonde's face.

They heard a door opening.

"Finally! What took you so—" her jaw dropped as she took in the sight.

Conner, his black hair all messed up, his blue eyes embarrassed, his face red, was slowly rounding the corner. He was wearing a dress—a tight, hot pink one—with frilly lace and a big bow. The dress was so low that it showed half his chest, displaying the super teen's fit chest.

"Oh my god." M'gann blushed furiously, and then turned and ran in the direction Wally and Dick had.

"Conner, why are you wearing that?" Kaldur asked slowly, averting his eyes in respect.

Because, let's face it, the dress was _very_ tight in his lower area. And Kaldur really did _not_ want to focus on that.

Roy was smirking, blatantly checking out the now tomato-faced ebony. Conner cut his eyes to the floor, trying to ignore the blazing gaze. Kaldur coughed, and Artemis was slowly turning pink.

"The terror twins?" Roy asked, his smirk widening. his deep blue eyes, hidden behind shades, were still roaming the fine specimen in front of him.

"I'm just gonna…" Conner trailed off, brushing past the archer as he raced outside. Kaldur finally looked up, still looking embarrassed. Artemis had turned red, and Roy could only suspect she had a little crush on the super teen. Mind you, Roy had noticed how muscular the ebony was, and the attractive shade of blue his eyes were.

"Next time, Robin uses the girl's bathroom."

"Agreed."

**Sorry it took so long. And that it's short. Review maybe?**

**~samx**


	4. Time of the Month

**Short ish, and it took a while, but eh. I've been busy.**

**Credit to ****RobinsReckoning**** for the idea.**

**Read on~**

For the sixth time that minute, Artemis shifted uncomfortably, trying to pull down her skirt a little further. Conner, her dance partner, gave her a strange look, as he probably heard the rustling of her pad. She mentally threw herself off a cliff, really hoping he wouldn't ask. He gave her a weird look, thinking that it was probably a ruffle layer of her dress

They were undercover as rich guests at a huge party one of Lex Luther's allies was throwing. The team was supposed to gather information on the ally, and figure out Luther's plans for whatever he was up to.

Robin and Miss Martian were up in the air vents. The hacker claimed he had better wifi signal up there, so the two were trying to locate the computer room so they could extract the files on the next big plan of Luther's.

"Something wrong?" Conner questioned after the third bunch of rustling. Artemis shook her head and bared her teeth. The ebony fell silent at this, still confused.

Once the song ended, Artemis started to rush for the bathroom, but Conner led her to a table, where waiters offered them dainty little crab cakes and delicately decorated desserts. At this point, the blonde was sure her cream dress was stained red from the back. She tugged on her lace sleeves and glared at the ebony.

He just blinked, not understanding what the look was for.

"I need to use the bathroom!" she finally hissed, leaning over the table and grabbing his tie. His blue eyes searched hers before he nodded. She dashed off, and Wally took her place, sweating madly.

"Jesus, can Rob dance!" he sighed, wiping his forehead and grinning. Conner rolled his eyes in reply.

~x~

Artemis wanted to get her bow and arrow to personally shoot all the girls in the line to the bathroom. Half of them were blonde and needed to fix their hair of makeup. Artemis had a crises; their stupid looks could wait!  
The archer in disguise huffed as three girls held up the whole line while they rummaged through purses to find the correct lipstick tube. Her eye twitched and she had to bite down on her lip in order to fight the urge to strangle every single female in sight.

"Would you hurry up?" she yelled; the band playing and the shrieks of the girls who couldn't find the desired eyeliner drowned her voice out. Her eye twitched again as the line moved backwards, thanks to some girl who needed to reapply her blush.

Like, how was she a part of this dimwitted gender? Even guys like Wally weren't this bad. Actually, she took that back. Wally was pretty bad.

Back to the point—she needed to change her stupid bad before Assasin's Creed decided to play in her pants and make a mess. She shifted uncomfortably as the line move back again, finally giving up.

If the girls with a full plate of makeup on their face that weighed at least 5 pounds were going to take up the line, she sure as hell wasn't going to wait. She had better things to do, like dance awkwardly with Conner and pretend to be sweet and delicate like a flower.

She hated flowers.

Artemis stomped back to the table, where she found Roy flirting—_flirting_?!—with Conner, whose face was slowly but steadily turning bright red. She looked around for a fork to stab someone with, but then Kaldur came and Roy was off in a blast. She sat down, eyes glaring daggers at Conner.

~x~

Conner didn't know why, but it seemed like Artemis was going to kill him. The way her dark eyes sent a look of loathing and the way her fingers twitched towards the fork—it kind of terrified him.

Suddenly, her eyes became glossy and she sniffled loudly. Bewildered, he could only stare as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue and blew her nose loudly. Did she have a mood disorder or something?  
"Artemis?" Conner asked slowly, and she wailed, dropping her head in her hands. People were starting to look, and he felt a little nervous as he shook her arm a few times.

"Are you ok?" he asked, shaking a bit harder. Her hand fumbled around until it felt cool metal, and she raised her head to reveal angry red eyes. he ducked as she threw the fork and then resumed sobbing.

"…" he didn't even know what to say.

Wally walked up to him with a package and winked. He handed it to Artemis, who ducked under the table, yelling, "YOLO, b*tches!"

Conner still didn't know how to react.

"Her time of the month is the worst. That's why no one wnatd to be her partner." The speedster explained before zooming off to blow up the chocolate fountain with Rob.

Time of the month? Conner was even more confused than before when Artemis slithered back into her seat, sighing in relief.

"What's your time of the month?" the super teen asked her, ready to duck in case another fork came his way. The blonde cracked a grin.

"Let's just say us girls need to get what we want at certain times…"

"Or people get stabbed with forks?" Roy asked in annoyance from a few tables over. She flipped him off, sweeping her hair behind her shoulders. She gave Conner a wide smile, flashing her pearly teeth.

"Wanna dance, sexy?"  
Conner had to say, he preferred the sobbing, fork-throwing Artemis over this one. A voice in his head—Wally communicating over the link—said to tell her the back of her dress was red.

So Conner told her that.

And nothing could prepare him for the reaction.

Artemis took off towards he bathroom, screaming in horror. She shoved aside people and leaped on top of tables, incredibly agile even in a puffy dress.

"Outta my way!" she yelled, blazing through the line of girls and sliding into a stall. All the girls stared, mumbling insults under their breath.

Conner looked at Dick, who smirked and said, "Just wait….wait…and….now, Walls!"

A few seconds later, Wally was flat out running out of the hall, arrows flying around his face.

"I'll kill you, West!" Artemis shrieked, still in her dress.

To say that Conner was scarred for life was the nicest way of putting it.

**Review please!**

**~samx**


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